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Columnist Information
The Xbox Guy
As the great Reggie of Nintendo would say "Hey, my name is Steve. I like kicking asses."In case you didn't know, my name is Steve Wysowski, and my job is to run this site to the best of my ability, but my other job is also to maintain this column for your enjoyment. Here I will share my inner most thoughts about this wonderful world of gaming every few days; and hopefully give you all a few laughs as well. Besides my usual updating, once a week I'll throw you some links, some podcasts, and some other bits of information that I know you're gonna like. I'll also run review blogs as I'm reviewing a game, giving you some information for those specific games that you simply can't wait for a review to get some info on.
If you want to add/message me on XBL or you want to give me a news tip; hit me up on xAD Steve. Also, remember to check up the forums, I'll be there 24/7. See you on the battlefield soldier.
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Stop Overhyping Games
by Steve Wysowski June 25th 2008 1:37 AM EDT2 Comments
The anticipation level amongst gamers leading up to the release of Halo 3 can be compared to the spectacle
of seeing a pack of wild dogs salivate over a caged slice of filet mignon.
Invariably drooling over the slab of beef at hand, even those who might prefer chicken over steak were so taken astray by the other dogs' slobbering that they too decided to join the orgy of augury. However, when the cage's lock busted open, and the canines dove into the outer crust of the meat teeth-first as if they were owned by Michael Vick, they soon comprehended that the meat tasted less like a tender, juicy cut of filet and more like the feces that is excreted from their own asses (or colloquially known as dog shit).
Most of the canines realized that perhaps the brawn wasn't as luscious as expected, and chose to move on, gaining some valuable life lessons in the process. Some however, chose to ignore the taste impacted on their tongues and just go with their rudimentary instinct based around their original level of anticipation, and have chosen to lie to themselves everyday by eating their own excrement. These dogs can be translated as Halo fanboys, and any plans of assimilating them to everyday society is as hopeless as trying to get them to stop screaming into my microphone on Xbox LIVE.
My point is that Halo 3 didn't quite live up to the expectations we all had for it. Actually, saying that Halo 3 just didn't live up to expectations is like saying Jamie Lynn Spears turned out to be what every guy over 18 hoped she would be (a hotter, saner version of her freakishly fat sister). It was a colossal flop (except to those who eat their own feces).
However, most of the blame for Halo 3 shouldn't be thrown directly at Bungie or Microsoft, for they aren't entirely at fault. When you look back at the game now, you can easily substantiate that were it not for the large amount of hype hrown onto the Halo 3's shoulders (that made its knees snap in twain), the game may have been much more enjoyable. Would we enjoy the original Halo if we all expected it to be the best thing ever since sliced bread? I don't think so, and for that matter, I don't think we could enjoy anything in life if we had such expectations of grandeur for it. I'd rather have something good surprise me than have something great merely satisfy me any day.
While I thought that many in the industry (particularly the Xbox community) came out of Halo 3 with a different mindset in regards to how we look at upcoming games, it now seems to be more of a pothole on the road of the 360's life more so than any kind of lasting change on a gamer's psyche. I say this in light of the vast amount of hype emanating from Gears of War 2 like the nauseating smell coming from Rosie O'Donnell's armpits these days. Not only that, but thanks to Epic Games, Gears of War 2 is being shoved down my throat with nearly every passing day, as if the game was being promoted by the USSR. The game not only gives me an exorbitant sense of Halo 3 déjà vu, but the game's designers seem to be swimming in it.

I've written this before, and I will continue to write this again: stop overhyping games that haven't been released yet. Nearly every day a new article comes out touting Gears of War 2 as "bigger, better and more badass", as if it was Jesus coming out of the tomb jacked up on steroids.
Adhere to me Cliffy B (I will call you that and you will like it): I get it, you think Gears of War 2 is going to be a mind-blowing game, maybe the best-ever, but how about you let me decipher that for myself. Don't you want to give yourself some elbow room anyway? Do you really want people to expect the best thing ever to come from you? You're merely a tiny man with the worst haircut in the world. How much do you expect out of yourself?
The problem with the gaming community these days is that we seem to live around hype and build up as if it were our breathing tubes. Sure, sometimes this system pays off (see Metal Gear Solid 4), but how often is it that perfectly fine games fall into a gaping hole of horse manure because of it. Even for the games that do persevere past whatever level of expectation is thrown at them; try to imagine how much greater they could have been if you they gave you more of a surprise than simply satisfied you. If you expect everything to be great, then great is no longer great, it is simply normal. And if the normal state of living is greatness then my life must be on par with the existence of a ham sandwich.
By all means, I'm not saying that you shouldn't have some level of expectations for video games. Some releases deserve to hold some higher beliefs, or you're not giving proper credit to the reputation that the particular developer boasts. For example, a game like Fallout 3 is more likely to induce people into awe than an overly built-up game like Gears of War 2.

Unlike Epic, Betheseda hasn't gone out of their way to tout Fallout 3 as the resurrection of Mohandas Gandhi, and is more so relying on their own credibility to convince gamers to buy a copy of the game. This plan is going to most likely pay off, for not only is Betheseda saving money from pre-release advertising, but they have put gamers into a comfortable state of assurance. While I'm not drooling over every screenshot of Fallout 3 like one of the aforementioned dogs, I do expect a quality title to come my way. This not only leaves more room for the "wow" factor to sink in, but it gives less room to the "holy shit, this game fucking sucks!" variable.
If you want to truly enjoy a game, don't hype it up with your individual views prior to its release. Despite what all of your friends may be doing, and what everyone else does, they are only detracting themselves out of whatever true experience they could possibly attain. Checking a few videos now and then, or receiving some updates on the progress of a game are all fine and welcomed. But making fan videos, flaming on forums, or debating the possibilities of the game will only damper the experience that you really want. Be calm, relax, and patiently wait for the game's release. Block out anything else, and enjoy the game the way its designers intended you to.
Unless it's Vivendi, then you might as well beat your head with an egg beater until you begin to lose your sense of feeling.
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Your 360's Summer of Dreams
by Steve Wysowski June 1st 2008 10:14 PM EDT15 Comments
Since virtually the Big Bang, game publishers have feared releasing video games during the summer as much as this little girl fears coaster attractions:
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While summer has invariably appeared to me as an integral time for gaming (most gamers occupy their entire summers lying dormant in their cave-like rooms as everyone else basks and wallows in the beautiful weather outside), developers seem to believe that theories like mine can go piss off. I presume that there is too much of a gap between now and Christmas for a developer to release anything worthwhile, and what we are usually left with is a game that can fit into one of the following three categories:
A) Absolute clusterfucks which produce the same effect as would having your pubes shaved with a machete.
B) Games that developers aren't too certain with, and are too apprehensive to release them during the holiday season. The game inevitably ends in either category A or gets infinite "diamond in the rough" (i.e. The Darkness).
C) Bioshock.
Needless to say, I planned to go into this summer with my rudimentary train of thought as I have had every year. But yesterday, as I went scouring through IGN's release date page (which is in dire need of an update) like a drug detecting dog digging through Ricky Williams' pockets, an epiphany of sorts materialized to me: this summer is going to fucking rock!
I'm not fully certain why this year was chosen as the one summer to rule them all. Maybe it was leftovers from 2007's immaculate holiday season or maybe it was something a lot less noteworthy. But whatever, I'm not going to moan. This is a summer in which I can actually buy a few 360 games that weren't made with the lights turned off; and just being able to make that claim is something else in it's own.
So, incase you were going into this summer with the same philosophy as I did, here's a quick rundown of the season's lineup that should give your 360 enough gameplay to undoubtedly contract an RROD. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
June is usually the least shitacular of the three summer months, and while the month may not have some of the blockbusters that July and August possess, this June certainly looks considerably better than May did (which has set a new milestone in horrendousness with Ironman at its forefront).
The month kicks off with Ninja Gaiden II being released this Tuesday. I've been looking forward to the game’s debut since the words "Ninja Gaiden II" reverberated in my ears, the way a sound reverberates in a cave. I adored the original Ninja Gaiden primarily because it had every desirable quality associated with games involving ninjas. A kick-ass main character? Check. Tons of bad guys who resemble the Puddies from Power Rangers? Check. An insane difficulty level that had me break as many controllers as Keven Federline has done condems? Check.
Despite the fact that pre-release reviews have been giving the game some less than exemplary scores, I'm still quite fevered for the game's release (and we all know the 10-point review system sucks anyway). Moreover, the review copy at question reportedly contained so many bugs that it is probably what Ninja Gaiden II would play like if you first beat the disc with a screwdriver. Honestly, if you're up into well-rounded action games, Ninja Gaiden II should suit your likings very well.
Some of you may have played 2007's Colin Mcrae's DiRT (his roflcopter went sleic sliec sliec). If you are one of those lucky souls who have had a chance to play the game, you undoubtedly remember how you might of jizzed your pants after your first viewing upon your television screen (what, that was just me?). That is what DiRT primarily was: a pinnacle of gaming eye-candy.
GRID is expected to produce a similar effect, and I'm not expecting anything less from it. Sure, you could say that forcing a game to live up to the expectations of making me jizz my pants is rather crude or of an aberration, but I honestly don't give a flapping fuck. If I don't receive some kind of euphoric experience from GRID's visuals, well then pencil me down as disappointed. But up until that point, GRID is on my "games to buy immediately" list. Oh and yes, I know: I just judged a game completely by its visual appeal, sue me? I can like shiny things too.

But surprisingly, June doesn't stop there. You have a new Dragon Ball Z fighter expected to release in the middle of the month, which actually resembles something like the cartoon series its based around. A first for the DBZ video game series, and that should give Anime fans some reason to get off their perverted hentai websites. In addition, Battlefield: Bad Company will be making its way to consoles, and while I have always believed that the Battlefield series boils down to a subpar FPS with some kick-ass vehicles thrown into the mix, I am more or less willing to take in anything that will get my ass off Call of Duty 4 for at least a week.
Finally, Guitar Hero: Aersomith comes at the cusp of the month, and while it's starting to appear to many that that the Guitar Hero franchise is converting into as much of a sell-out as every franchise EA has ever produced, the fact that Aerosmith is making an appearance in a video game is enough to give this game a chance for many.
July is usually the time when we are force fed games that were designed by developers with no arms, but as stated before, this July seems to have have told all the other Julys to go fuck themselves. Rather than a complete, utter drought, we will instead be treated to such AAA titles as Soul Calibur IV, Unreal Tournament III, and Sid Meier's: Civilization Revolution, as craved by gamers alike.
While it seems that everyone and their mom is going berserk over Soul Calibur IV and the fact that Yoda is making a roster appearance (it's "Sonic in Brawl! ZOMFG!" all over
again), I'm not caring too much for it. To tell you the truth, I have never put much faith into a fighting game (any game that can have an experienced hardcore gamer like me lose to someone “mashing” every button at once isn't exactly my desired taste). Oh, and that green little bastard can go fuck himself too.
Yes I know, I may be coming off a bit brash (a bit may be an understatement). If I had to be perfectly honest, Soul Calibur IV will most likely be an awesome game. It's just that I’m not inclined to die for it as some other gamers are.
As for Unreal Tournament III, I have been able to play the game on both the PS3 and the PC, and with that being said, its pretty much a matter of fact that the Xbox 360 version will mostly resemble the PS3 model. Sadly though, this is just one game that just wasn't designed for consoles, and while I'd love to believe that Epic has spent the past seven months fixing the game, I'd also like to believe that my dog Buster's corpse isn't rotting in my parents' backyard. Give them a break though, they are overly busy making sure that Gears of War 2 is bigger, better, and more badass. Can we blame them?
The third game I mentioned, Civilization Revolution, is one game I'd be willing to remove my left testicle for (that's the one that doesn't work as well as the other). I have only played one Civilization game so far (and I don't plan on playing one between now and its release), but I came away from the game as delighted as a Nintendo fanboy who just got to see Miyamoto in person. While I can easily see this game getting "lost in translation" as it attempts to bring its PC-based gameplay over to consoles, I can't see it being too difficult (then again, the only video game I ever developed was some shit obstacle course in Forge).
Once August rolls around, even more games will be reaching their ways to Xbox 360 disc drives. Madden makes its annual appearance, and while EA may be masking this game as being "revolutionary" when compared to last year's outing, like every other year, it will probably be the same fucking game repackaged, reshipped and resealed. What’s new? Still, if you're head over heels obsessed with the NFL, or you're dieing for a quality sports game, Madden NFL 09 is your best bet.
The summer's two biggest blockbusters, Too Human and Mercenaries 2, both come out later in August. Too Human has been a game on many people's tracking list (not mine, but many others), and Mercenaries 2 will probably wind up offering a good amount of fun (despite the fact you're first going to have to put your brain in a pickle jar before you play it).
So that's this summer’s lineup in a nutshell, and luckily for us, that's no peanut-sized nutshell (it's more like Macadamian sized, or perhaps Pecan.). While it isn't inconceivable that I may just be busting your balls and all of the games mentioned above turn out to be complete and utter dog crap (same could be said for every game ever produced), I doubt it highly. You should be able to find at least two or three games in the dozen or so that I mentioned above that can hold you over until the holiday season comes rolling around in full force.
If you can't, then perhaps it's yet another opportunity for you to put down the bag of Funyuns and go enjoy the lovely weather outside. You're looking pale as it is.
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Gears of War 2 Multiplayer Thoughts
by Steve Wysowski May 26th 2008 2:57 AM EDT12 Comments
Gears of War 2 articles have been dominating my column lately, and I know some of you guys may be getting a bit sick of it, but what am I going to do? It's just how the cookie has been crumblin' lately, and with the recent leak of information regarding the game's multiplayer it only seems necessary to chime in with my opinions. What has been taken from the magazine isn't too detailed, but a lot of information has trickled in. I've jotted down ten or so points about what I've seen thus far, and I'm getting pretty damned excited for this game. Be warned though: love, hate, fears, and a crap load of congestion (my nostrils feel like they just got raped by this bug I've come down with) awaits all who enter.
Oh, and I've scattered some high-res scans of Gears 2 from the magazine all across the article for your viewing pleasure. Aren't I the best Xbox Guy of all time? -
The Xbox Links: Part Uno
by Steve Wysowski May 21st 2008 1:50 AM EDT3 Comments
Once a week, The Xbox Guy will present The Xbox Links; a showcase of links, videos, podcasts, and whatever else he can find that can help satisfy your Xbox gaming needs. What is included can vary from some cheats, glitches, achievement tutorials, some cool videos, captures, funny clips, and anything else he believes is worth your time. So in a nutshell: expect the unexpected.
So I've had a rough month as far as my real life is concerned, which has effectively put this feature I had planned for quite some time on the backburner. Now that I have finally found some room to fit this into my schedule, I'd like to say welcome to The Xbox Links: Part Uno. I think you're going to enjoy this feature, as like most of you, I too aimlessly surf the internet, hoping to find some diamonds in the rough that can offer me some entertainment or information. So as the caption above states; once a week I'll bring you some interesting links and videos from across the web; offering the tips, shocks, and laughs that may be going around the Xbox community. Hope you enjoy, and I'll try to bring you some rather varied crap over the course of feature's life span. -
A Call of Duty 4 Wishlist
by Steve Wysowski May 20th 2008 1:40 AM EDT2 Comments
Since the game's release in November, Call of Duty 4 has taken up a good portion of my life. In my personal view, the game is the epitome of a modern shooter, and is currently the most enjoyable game to play with a group of friends online; and that is across all genres and platforms. While it may lack some of social networking features Halo 3 brought to the table last September, it has made up for it with some of the industry's best gameplay. That is why the game effectively did what we all considered to be the impossible at one point or another; it stole away Halo 3's top spot on the Xbox LIVE rankings. And the game fully deserved it.
The simple gist is this: Call of Duty 4 iwas last year's largest surprise, and is in my opinion, the most complete shooter that I have come across this generation. Still, there is no such thing as a perfect game (unless that game is called the "Ocarina of Time") and there are some features that I wish Call of Duty 4 would have boasted. It may be hard to ask for more to possibly come out of such a complete package, but after playing the game to death, I'm starting to run out of fuel in the tank.
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A closer look into Halo Wars
by Steve Wysowski May 19th 2008 12:17 AM EDT1 Comments
Ever since the game's announcement at X06, Halo Wars has had a large amount of hype surround it (after all, it has the word "Halo" in its title). If you look at 2008's lineup, Halo Wars is undoubtedly this year's most desired real-time strategy game, despite of the lack of information or media shown to us. This is the first time that the Halo franchise has gone into a genre that wasn't a first-person shooter, and because of that, there are some lofty expectations for this game.
But Halo Wars is emitting a rather "standard" feeling for me thus far. There doesn't seem to be any groundbreaking features that would separate the game from the rest of the console-RTS games, and we all know that those games aren't that great to begin with. There is a lot to work with from the Halo franchise, but from what I've seen, it doesn't look like Ensemble Studios is using all of it in the best of ways.

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An Xbox 360 Wiitmote is a bad idea
by Steve Wysowski May 15th 2008 2:25 AM EDT3 Comments
When Nintendo first revealed the Wii alongside its revolutionary controls and odd-sounding name (funny to think the word "Wii" is a household name in this society), the gaming community were all thinking the same thing: "what the hell is Nintendo smoking?". I remember quite vividly my thought process at the time:
"Nintendo has just jumped the shark, grabbed it by it's fin, and punched it right in the nose. No next-generation graphics? No HD support? Not even a hard drive! Does Nintendo honestly expects to capture the globe with a sleeker version of the power glove? They don't even have one techincal leg to stand on! This is the dumbest decision Nintendo has made since giving Animation Magic the rights to produce the Wand of Gamelon. That Miyamoto poster on my wall is so out of here."
When I look back at myself, I realize how much of a naive idiot I can be sometimes. I didn't realize it then, but Nintendo was the perfect company to make such a leap into this "new" generation of video games as I am calling it. If there ever was a company who has strived at gaming innovation; it's Nintendo. If there ever was a company that could convert the casual fans by the millions; it's Nintendo. If there was a company that could possibly break the social barriers created by the industry in the past two decades; it's Nintendo. So far, their plan is working, effectively flipping the bird to everyone who doubted them two years ago. -
Don't Worry About Nuts & Bolts
by Steve Wysowski May 14th 2008 12:14 AM EDT2 Comments
Why is it that gamers are so terrified of change? In every other entertainment industry (whether it be television, movies, books etc.), change is almost always welcomed, despite of the inherent risks that can emanate from it. Yet for one reason or another, gamers can't seem to grasp the concept of change when it involves any kind of alteration that can affect one of their favorite franchises, consoles, or companies. Whether it is due to the amount of reliability a gamer may have placed onto a speific series, or if it is the fact that gamers are becoming a little too close to their favorite franchises; it doesn't matter. It's time to realize that sometimes change can be for the better, and can only help progress the industry as a whole.
I mention this in response to the tsunami of Banjo Kazooie 3 (well, Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts) media, rumors, and leaks that have ravaged the blogosphere this week. As the information in regards to Rare's upcoming platformer started leaking bit by bit, a gradual wave of paranoia started sweeping the gaming community. Complaints, rants, tangents, and messages to Rare entitled "it r tiem dai!" have been surfacing all across the net. It is time to calm down, and truly analyze what is actually happening with the series before we jump to any conclusions pertaining to the possibility that Banjo and Rare may have finally "jumped the shark". -
Stop Overhyping Gears of War 2!
by Steve Wysowski May 13th 2008 1:26 AM EDT4 Comments
So; what did it take to temporarily steal GTAIV's two-week longer thunder? Why some Gears of War 2 footage, of course! And everyone knows what comes about when the media gets a wiff of Gears of War 2: so much hype that you may forget that there are other games besides it.
So many journalists have been weighing in with their personal opinions on last week's Gears 2 exclusive that it's hard to not crown Epic's upcoming shooter as the pinnacle of civilized man. While by no means is it not wonderful to see an Xbox exclusive receive so much hype, I do believe some people are touting this game light years away from any sense of proportion. How long was Saturday night's video? One and a half minutes long? Two minutes, tops? If the game is suppose to be this multi-hour epic adventure, you really think that is substantial enough footage to come up with some solid opinions? -
Gears of War 2 Might Suck
by Steve Wysowski April 21st 2008 10:19 PM EDT7 Comments
Before you jump on my ass over this column's title, please know that the author of this column is a rabid Gears of War junkie. I've spent countless hours on the original Gears, and I still play the original game quite often. I played the game so intensely at one point, that I even got invited to a handful of MLG tournaments (yes, I'm bragging) and had some high spots on the game's online rankings. As you could have imagined, the announcement of Gears of War 2 initially had me absorbed with hype, but as the months have passed, I've become more and more skeptical of the upcoming mega shooter. Whether it's Epic's attitude towards the game, or the fact that a two-year development time frame renders expectations for a mind-blowing experience rather unrealistic. From my point of view, there are a lot of things to be worried about as far as Gears of War 2 is concerned.
When a developer uses one word repeatedly to describe one of their upcoming titles, your entitled to assume that they aren't too sure themselves where the game is going to end up. That's nothing to truly panic about, J.R.R. Tolkien wrote The Lord of the Rings trilogy as he went along. But when that word a developer is using to describe a game is as vague as "badass", you might want to start worrying. Mix that with a release date that is merely eight months away and you can expect there are some major uncertainties inside Epic's development rooms. -
YouTube's Best Video Game Music
by Steve Wysowski April 3rd 2008 8:58 PM EDT5 Comments
There are a lot of great videos one can find on YouTube, but video game music thrives there. I love listening to all kinds of video game music, and as I sat on my ass all of today, drinking beer and viewing numerous gaming clips, I decided to post up a top ten based around my favorite bits of video game music one can find on the internet. These vids can be anything as long as it blends music of some knd (whether original or not) with the wonderful world of video games. I mixed things up a bit, and while you may not agree with my order, I hope you enjoy the great selection of gaming music I have laid before you. Enjoy. -
Will Sonic Die If 'Unleashed' Fails?
by Steve Wysowski March 26th 2008 2:03 AM EDT7 Comments
There was only one game I owned for the Sega Genesis, merely one. I am not exactly certain if the reason for holding ownership of just one Genesis game was due to my family's lack of expenses at the time, or the fact I was only four and failed to even notice. But none the less, the fact I had only one Genesis cartridge thrown atop the large pile of Nintendo games I possessed shows how much I loved the game. I do not recall if I had any skill (I just received my motor skills a few meager months before), but I do retain memories of having large doses of fun with the title, and I want that feeling to come back.
Needless to say, that game was the original Sonic the Hedgehog, the first game ever to boast the world's fastest hedgehog on the cover. The Sonic franchise thrived in the early 1990s, as the game's then "lightning speed" appealed to the maturing generation of gamers at the time (as well as kiddies like me). It had some rocking music, a mascot that could detract thousands of pre-teens from their Super Nintendos, and was faster than Mario on speed. The game and its sequels were nothing short of immaculate, and because of the franchise' excellence during this era, Sonic has a permanent spot for himself engraved in the history of video gaming. -
Five Features Xbox Live Needs
by Steve Wysowski March 23rd 2008 11:09 PM EDT13 Comments
For me, Xbox LIVE was the sole reason to purchase an Xbox 360 in November of 2005. As launch swiftly approached, my ambivalence towards
Microsoft's new, creamy system wasn't finding any answers. I wasn't too interested in the launch games the system was releasing with, and I wasn't too faithful to the original Xbox at all (nor did I own one at the time). However, when I saw all the features that the 360's new online service was expected to boast, I was convinced.Two and a quarter years later, I can easily say I made a good investment. I have spent a good thousand hours with my 360 (yeah, an RROD is on its way no doubt), and I have never spent as much time on any other system as I have with my box. While the Xbox 360 has been awesome, and the games have been great, it is Microsoft's LIVE service that has kept me playing for so long. Xbox LIVE is truly Microsoft's air and water, and without it I doubt the Xbox brand would be half of what it is. It was my original reasoning for purchasing the system, and it has paid off in every way possible.
While Xbox LIVE is far and beyond a better service than its competitors, there are still some problems that can be fixed and some additions that can be added to put LIVE in a separate universe (although its annual fee would probably pull it back in anyway). So, I have listed the top five additions I believe Microsoft should consider to add to Xbox LIVE when its spring update rolls around.
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Ignorance to "Kid" Games = Stupidity
by Steve Wysowski March 11th 2008 2:04 AM EDT3 Comments
For the past two days, my life has been dominated by two things: getting this bitch of a site up and running, and Super Smash Bros Brawl. Since Sunday morning, I've been smashing my brains out. This game is frickin' amazing, and anyone who has at least some kind of love for Nitnendo needs to pick this game up immediately. It's a testament to being a Nintendo fan, and just being a fan of gaming in general. And yeah, it's pretty kickass to beat the crap out of Mario with Sonic.
However, something happened yesterday that I figured you'd guys would like to hear (and if you don't, piss off). While I was smashing away, my buddy (who will we refer to as Tard in this column) walked into my apartment (without knocking) to come pick something up. He glanced at my television, saw me (as Kirby) beating the crap out of some Japanese dude 5000 miles away, and asked me what I was playing. I told him it was Brawl, and he gaveme one of those "that's kinda gay" smirks on his face. Here's how the convo went down:TXG: Why are you smirking? You know you look like a rapist when you do that.
Tard: Oh no, its just that, well...aren't you a little old to be playing that game?
TXG: What, Brawl? You play video games don't you
Tard: Yeah, but I play games that suit my age. Like Call of Duty or Halo. You're like, 19 man. What are you doing play a Kirby game.
TXG: This isn't a Kirby game, read a book. It's called Super Smash Bros- know what, I'm not explaining it. If you actually played it, you'd love it. Want to play a quick stock match?
Tard: Nah it's okay. I don't play games for kids.
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The State of the Xbox 360
by Steve Wysowski March 5th 2008 8:02 PM EST7 Comments
The Xbox 360's current standing in this generation isn't something I'm too confident in.
Don't be mistaken, I bleed green and white through and through, and will be with the console 'til its last dieing breath. Still, I'm concerned about the console's present, and more importantly, its future. I've been playing my Wii more and more, and with Smash Bros. Brawl coming out this weekend, I don't think I'll be playing my 360 outside of review purposes for a while. So that means, if I were an average non-employed gamer I wouldn't be playing my 360 at all. If someone would have told me I'd be playing my Wii more than my 360 a year ago, I'd probably break my balls in painstaking laughter.Right now, the Wii is crushing our silky white box in all markets. Japan has been on the verge of pulling an Luisitania on any ship carrying Xbox 360s for quite some time now, but no one expected Microsoft to have such a limited hold on its home market of North America.
The Wii isn't the "fad" console as many fanboys are making it out to be. It is simply the better console, and the pie charts show it. Innovation is something Microsoft has always been lacking, and something Nintendo strives upon. Innovation is the difference between the two companies; and the gap is becoming wider each day.

