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Running Riot

In Halo, a Running Riot is killing 10 enemies in a row without dying. The relentless act of carnage and death towards one's opponent was the best metaphor for this column we could come up with. The opinions you're about to read in this column are relentless, brash, and so awe-inducing that you'll be forced to appreciate their wisdom. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll wonder what went wrong with your life as you realize the truth in these words. You may disagree with me, but I guarantee you will always be entertained. I apologize in advance to anyone who may be easily offended. Pregnant women and those with heart problems should consult their doctor.

Be sure to send all of your fun-filled venom and hatemail to jaleel@xboxfocus.com. It helps jumpstart my morning.

Column Days: Wednesday and Saturday

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• Movies that need to be games

  by Jaleel Boone August 10th 2008 2:35 PM CDT4 Comments

  For the most part licensed movie games suck to the third power. Strict deadlines results in games that look like their respective flicks but play like ass. However, games like Stranglehold, The Godfather, and The Warriors that have been released significantly after their films have been pretty well done. The games' developers didn't have to worry about releasing them on time with their respective movie. No matter what the cost was, they had the time to let the movie's essence marinate. Here's just the short list of pre-released movies that should be translated into videogame form.
• DLC Done Right

  by Jaleel Boone August 6th 2008 12:51 PM CDT2 Comments

  You know what's bullshit? A few days after Soul Calibur IV's release, downloadable content was made available. New headgear and costumes to use in the character creator for 100 points. The kicker is that reportedly the download's size has led gamers to the conclusion that you're simply paying for a "key" to unlock content already on the disk. Rumor has it that Vader is on the disk as well and the DLC will be treated in the same fashion. Fuck it.
  
  
  
• Fighting Games for Dummies

  by Jaleel Boone August 2nd 2008 3:08 PM CDT0 Comments

  With the release of Soul Calibur IV, recently I've noticed a lot of people saying "I want to get into them, but I just don't get fighting games." As always I'm here for you; so feast your eyes on my beginner's guide to various fighting games. I didn't include Guilty Gears and King of Fighters because no one gives a fuck. Enjoy!
• The Elusive Music Game Fanboy

  by Jaleel Boone July 29th 2008 5:38 PM CDT0 Comments

  We all hate fanboys. They are dumb, obsessive, and usually lack the ability to use punctuation that's does not include an exclamation mark. I've ragged on the gaming community's hive mentality before, and if there's one thing I'm good at doing, it's calling out fanboys when they surface, showering them in woe and humiliation.
  
  Recently however, one subspecies of fanboy has slipped through the cracks of scrutiny. They have become commonplace in our community. Dare I say, it is even acceptable to be seen as this type of fanboy more so than any other. I speak of the Music Game Fanboy my friends, and they come in two types.
• The Pussification of Games

  by Jaleel Boone July 22nd 2008 11:06 PM CDT1 Comments

  Who was the one who decided to pussify my games? I ask this because this is what's been happening lately:
  
  First, a major title is released to great fanfare throughout the lexicons of gaming culture. I pay $50-$60 for said title and begin the singleplayer campaign. The campaign is great but I notice I'm flying by levels at record speed and begin to wonder how much longer I have to go before it's over. Then it ends. After that, I unlock some difficulty level with a name like “Uber Extreme!” to convey that it's supposed to be hard, and I go ahead and work on that. And This takes place in a week's timespan. Two if I'm playing multiple games, three if it's an RPG. Then I play multiplayer until the next big game comes out. Rinse and repeat. Notice the pussification that takes place between the transition from classic to modern gaming.
  
  You may be asking “But Jaleel, why do you want games to be so difficult? What's so fun about dying and then becoming frustrated with the game? I myself, am a pussy and quite frankly, I enjoy games that just let me just look at all of the pretty pixels and can be beaten on my lunchbreak.” Well sir, I'm glad you asked.
• Xbox LIVE: Price Now Justified

  by Jaleel Boone July 15th 2008 11:33 PM CDT16 Comments

  I'm a dissenter. A non-conformist, if you will. When I'm passionate about something you're not going to hear the end of it until shit gets done to my satisfaction. If you give me the right and reason to argue about something, know that I will oblige to do so. Among my favorite debates as far as gaming goes concerns Xbox Live. To me the fifty smackolas a year has been a rip-off for features as inexpensive and basic as what Microsoft has offered. There was no service that Microsoft provided that required $50 from the average consumer in my mind, and they only have charged us because they had enough lackeys (myself included) willing to pay.
  
  That was until yesterday.
• Games are NOT Movies

  by Jaleel Boone June 27th 2008 11:55 PM CDT2 Comments

  So you know, there's this pretty major title on the other HD gaming system right now. Here's a hint: the main character rhymes with Squalid Steak. As expected, reviewers are falling head over heels for it, and it is being dubbed the masterpiece of our generation. The game is anything short of amazing, but it perhaps may be a sign of things to come.
  
  
  
  
  But is this a good thing? Nearly every review of Metal Gear Solid 4 has called it an “interactive movie”. Googling “mgs4 interactive movie” brings 1,430,000 results as if you were googling "Metal Gear Solid 4" itself. 1UP.com noted this in their review of the game:
  
  “The MGS4 conundrum is this: The further you play into the game, the less you actually play...Despite this gradual decay, though, MGS4 is absolutely a great game.”
• Race on the 360

  by Jaleel Boone June 26th 2008 2:32 AM CDT15 Comments

  Why are black video game characters so lame?
  
  I know what you're thinking. “Why should it matter what the race of your character is?”, or “I never have a problem with playing as other races, neither should you”, or perhaps “Oh lord. The uppity colored boy is talking about race again. Black people? In my games?”
  
  Clearly I don't believe there are any slave owners playing the Xbox 360 or reading this article, but hear me out. I'm just going to to go down a quick list of African-American characters on the Xbox 360 alone.
  
  
  
  
  -Little Jacob (GTA IV): Always stoned.
  
  -Sargent Johnson (Halo series): Loud. Enjoys swearing.
  
  -Carl “CJ” Johnson (GTA: San Andreas): Shoots people, runs over old ladies with firetrucks, etc.
  
  -Black Athlete (Insert Sports Game Here): Plays sports.
  
  -Cole Train (Gears of War): Loud. Enjoys swearing, Shoots people. Plays sports.
• The Gamers I Hate

  by Jaleel Boone June 25th 2008 12:22 AM CDT5 Comments

  Maybe it's just me, but some gamers are starting to get pretty annoying. I've been in this industry for a while now and have been playing games since I could hold a controller. I've spent more money on this hobby then I probably should have and yet despite of that face, I'm proud of it. It's just that recently I find myself despising some of my fellow gamers more than relating with them.
  
  I hate gamers who fall into the trap of using terms like “hardcore” and “nongamers” to differentiate themselves with other people who play games. Your games have bigger budgets and usually more blood and violence, therefore you are more of a gamer than others. How ridiculous would it sound if you take the same approach to movies, a media gaming has been trying to compare to as of late?
  
  Quantity wise you may play more video games than the middle aged woman who logs multiple hours into Tetris and Solitaire on a daily basis, but don't degrade her for it. It wasn't too long ago that we gamers wanted others playing games. Isn't it ironic how we're turning them away when we find they don't want to play the same things we do. A term like “gaming enthusiast” would make more sense for people who play a vast amount of titles, and would be a hell of a lot more mature than “hardcore”; which sounds like it was pulled off the elementary school playground.