Xbox 360 Game News, Reviews, and Columns - XboxFocus

Rejected Column Names

by Zack Rovinsky July 30th 2008 12:15 PM CDT1 Comments

While I fully expected to have my writing and cartoonish good looks complimented in comments, I was surprised that I've gotten some very positive feedback on my column's name. Mostly from people who either completely ignored the actual content of the column or are operating on the "if you can't say anything nice..." principle.

I gotta tell you, a name that's clever and multi-layered like that just doesn't fall from the sky. There aren't a lot of people who can come up with names like that, and most of them are either writing pulp romance novels or naming shades of lipstick for makeup companies.

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"My Balls; Your Face"
"Hurdle The Weak, Frag The Dead"
"The Lag Fag"
"Itagaki's Gambling Problem"
"6 Broken 360's And Counting"
"I Don't Care How Good You Are At COD4"
"Cliffy B's Jockstrap"
"I'm Not Your Fuckin' Bro!"
"Atheism Means Not Saying 'God Bless You' When Someone Sneezes"
"I Hate Scandinavian CSRs"
"Fair, Balanced, And Crazy"
"J Allard's Liposuction"
"Why Green? Why Not Taupe?"
"Every Column Fuels My DLC Addiction"
"When In Doubt, Snipe"
"Hot From My Brain"
"TJ Ford's Missing Right Side"
"This Column Is Paying For My PS3"
"I Don't Like Jews, I'm Just Saying Gypsies Deserve It More"
"Chef Boyardee Is Damaging To Franco-American Relations"
"Whacking Leafos"
"Cracked Stole A Column I Wrote 2 Years Ago"
"A Sociopath's Guide To skate"
"Rage Against The Manufacturers Of The Machine"
"Rapists? In My XBL?"
"My Sweaty Ass"
"Frat Boys And Graphics Whores"
"I'll Never Look At Lacrosse Players The Same Way Again"
"NKD PICS PLZ THNX"
"The Rhyme Of Edgar Martinez"
"IGN Can Suck It, For The Right Price"
"Cult Of Gerstmanality"
"Sultan Of Schwing"
"Who Are You And Why Don't You Have A Fake Tattoo?"
"Red Rings, Red Herrings, And Red Eyes"
"A Good Medic Is So Hard To Find"
“Wal Mart: The Musical”
“The Hymn Of Peter Molyneux’s Ecstasy Dealer”
"Just Because You Got An 'Achievement' Doesn't Mean You Achieved Anything"
"Fanboy?! I'll Have You Know That My Mom's Cousin's Roommate's Dog's Friend's Owner Works For Microsoft. I Need To Support The Team"
"I Belong To The Blank Disc Generation"
"Hey Frenchie, Can You Say Pwned?"
“If It Hasn’t Been Featured In A Congressional Hearing I Don’t Want To Play It”
“You’re Soo Getting Negative Feedback!”
"My Ears Have Been Deflowered"
"What's An Assclown And How Did I Become One?"
“START THE GAME!”
“Do Mexican Suicide Bombers Get 72 Virgin Margaritas?”
"I Broke 5 360s, And I'm Really Ticked About It, And I Want You All To Know"

Aren't you glad I came up with "6 Rings In"? (Editor's Note (Steve) - I sure am).